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  March 17, 2018 7:41 PM PDT

  The recent womens Olympic marathon trials finish in Los Angeles was both frustrating and inspiring for me. Stefen Wisniewski Jersey . The event was nationally broadcast live for the first time, so we could witness the front of the pack gutting out the last four miles -- including Amy Cragg desperately pulling along her fading friend and teammate, Shalane Flanagan, grabbing water for her, slowing her own pace and encouraging Flanagan with words we couldnt hear. Even after shed left Flanagan, Cragg continued looking back to encourage her. Like many watching, I was inspired by Craggs selflessness and sportsmanship.Cragg won the race and Flanagan finished third, ensuring both will compete in the 2016 Rio Games. The finish-line shot of Cragg catching Flanagan in her arms as her legs collapsed brought tears to my eyes as I remembered how many women have helped me through races and workouts and how many have caught me at the finish line. But I also couldnt help wondering, Would a man work so hard to pull along a teammate?I could hear my fathers frustrated voice in my head, speaking to me after a high school cross country race in which Id admitted to feeling guilty for beating a friend. Why?! hed exclaimed, baffled. Dont wait. Its your race. Dont think twice next time. Just pass her.Athletic marketers might argue women-only races have increased in popularity because they offer an empowering environment. But I think competing against women can create more stress -- especially when youre competing against women you consider friends. Ive found through both racing and coaching others that women feel (or are made to feel) guilty after leaving a female friend behind in a race. On multiple occasions Ive stood with friends on starting lines negotiating whether or not to run separately.For years as a running and triathlon coach, competitive athlete and linguist, I have struggled with a perceived conflict over how competitive drive and female friendship can safely coexist. I was struck when a friend and former Division I runner recalled her college coach saying to her, Some days I think all I have to do is to get you girls to hate each other and then youll run faster. While, sadly, this may be half true, surely there are healthier ways to develop a successful team. That, combined with my feelings about the marathon trials, made me want to better understand the dynamics of female friends in competition.My friend, my competitorWomen are taught from a young age to help, cooperate with and be empathetic of others. When I was 4 years old, I learned that being bossy was wrong. Then, 10 years later, I was expected to be a boss on the field, taking control and beating my female friends on the track. Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, in her keynote speech at the 2006 WNBA Celebrating Inspiration event, said, There is a special place in hell for women who dont help other women. But how do you help someone if you are trying to beat her?I think women have to be confident in their own?failures and?successes in order for friendships to exist outside of?competition, says Erica Allar, 30, a pro cyclist from North Carolina. They have to understand that failures and successes in?competition do not define individuals as a person or define a friendship.I didnt understand this as a high school runner. Whether my friends liked me or not heavily influenced my performance -- not the reverse. On more than one occasion I hesitated passing a teammate in a race, fearful that girl might hold it against me, which would create a rift in our friendship at school.When I began running cross country my freshman year, I consistently ran with one sophomore girl during the 5k and then outkicked her at the end of each race. During one race, sensing my desire to pick up the pace, she instructed me, Not yet, Amanda. Dont go yet. I hesitated for a moment, then I heard my fathers voice insisting, What are you waiting for?! I ran ahead. Later, I heard shed passed out on the course and had to be driven by ambulance to the hospital. I felt horribly guilty. Over the next two years competing with her, I never beat her again. And I never tried.Fearing this response to competition could seep into other areas of my life, my father sent me to a sports psychologist. He helped me address the negative self-talk that was destroying me before I toed the line.When I began coaching cross country and track at DePauw University, my father gave me a book hed read when I was in high school, Games Girls Play: Understanding Young Female Athletes in Competition. The book describes a study of 115 professional tennis players, in which females were reported to be more affected than males by self-confidence and fan behavior.Road and mountain runner Melody Fairchild, a two-time Olympic trials qualifier and eight-time national champion, sees that in the performance of young women on the high school cross country teams and camps she coaches.Their identity is so tightly wrapped up in how others see them that they let that get in the way of performing their best, says Fairchild, 42, who was the first high school girl in the U.S. to break 10 minutes for two miles. My running was a pure expression of living with heart. And Im still wildly curious to figure out that magic key to help these young, altruistic women find a way to feel comfortable giving the best of themselves.A delicate balanceThe difficulty in balancing friendship and performance is something Sara Kadlec, 31, can attest to in her own training. If I feel better than expected at a workout I had planned to do with a friend, I wouldnt think of leaving her or running ahead. Id stay within the controlled pace we had planned to run. But when Ive discussed this with men, they think this is absolutely absurd. Its a workout, theyll say, youre supposed to go hard.Holding back is not something one would associate with Kadlec:?Shes a new mother, physicians assistant in neurosurgery, national podium-placing ski mountaineer and sub-three-hour marathoner. And yet, its something she might do in a workout to preserve harmony with a friend.When developing intimacy and maintaining a level playing field are traits young girls learn early, how do adult women separate competition from friendship? For me, it was about learning how to separate myself as a competitor from myself as a friend -- a skill that took me years to master.I wish at 15 years old I could have compartmentalized my relationships with competitors like pro mountain biker and college professor Becky Edmiston, who says in a race she encounters three groups of people: Women I dont know and I want to beat, women I know (whose friendship I value) and I want to beat, and women that rub me the wrong way and I want to beat.Edmiston says she trains with and encourages her friends. If I find myself passing a friend I might tell them to come with me. But Im not waiting around for them.Pam Landry, a sports psychologist and coach at The Athletes Edge in New Haven, Connecticut, finds herself working with many female athletes who struggle to balance friendship and competition. She says complications can arise when feeling guilty is associated with caring -- an association many women have been taught to make. The underlying implication behind this logic is that in order to be a good person or friend, Landry says, you must show you care by feeling guilty and then prove it by conforming to the perceived needs of those around you.Landry asks her athletes to rewrite the script in their head by asking themselves, What am I afraid of when I run faster or improve more than my friends? Disapproval from others or myself? Fear of failure or success?Another way to remain objective during competition is to tell yourself, No judgment, just execution. Landry says. Once this cue becomes an automatic pre-competitive response it helps the athlete to avoid letting feelings of friendship for their fellow competitors override their competitive drive.The goal is to teach the athlete that being the better performer does not make you the lesser person. It simply means that youre actively pursuing excellence.What Ive learnedCommunicating your goals before a race can help maintain a friendship, says coach and researcher Joanna Zeiger, who finished fourth in the triathlon at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. I ran the 2013 L.A. Marathon with [close friend and training partner] Colleen De Reuck. At Mile 17, I knew I was fading. Rather than let her wonder if she should wait or go, I told her I was struggling and that I would see her at the finish line.Ive adopted that policy of communication in my own friendships with fellow athletes as Ive grown. Recently, at the start of a long run with a group of friends, a very talented and competitive woman in her 30s said, Im feeling slow today. Dont wait up for me. I could tell she wasnt feeling 100 percent, but her silent treatment when she returned from the run, after trailing us the whole way, made it clear she had expected us to, indeed, wait up for her. I didnt feel guilty this time. I reminded her of what shed said and she accepted some responsibility. After eight years of training together, this was an overdue step in the right direction for our friendship and success as athletes.Healthy friendships and competition can coexist in the presence of confidence, honesty and direct communication. These are the traits that made for such a compelling finish to the marathon trials, and theyre what will make me root for Shalane Flanagan and Amy Cragg even harder at the Rio Olympics.Amanda McCracken is a Boulder-based writer, runner, and coach. She is grateful for all of her female friendships that have grown out of the fields of competition. Follow her on Twitter at?@writermccracken. Jason Kelce Jersey . Lack made 20 saves for his third shutout of the season as the Canucks blanked the St. Louis Blues 1-0 in the first post-Olympic game for both teams night. Rodney McLeod Jersey . The veteran safety was a starter for the Bengals from 2008-2012. He totaled 41 tackles and three interceptions while starting all but four of the 13 games he played last season. http://www.cheapeaglesjerseyselite.com/?tag=cheap-donnel-pumphrey-jersey . Those lessons were more than enough to overwhelm the Utah Jazz. Lou Williams scored 25 points and the Hawks continued their offensive upswing as they rolled to an easy 118-85 victory over the Jazz on Friday night, winning their third straight and for the fourth time in five games. NEW YORK -- Stars general manager Ruth Riley was momentarily confused as to whether San Antonio actually won the WNBA draft lottery when the four picks were revealed at the same time.It took a second, but when Riley realized the Stars had the top choice, she let out a scream of joy.I thought historically they went 4-3-2-1, Riley said in a phone interview. Then I heard him say the No. 1 pick, then our name. Im really incredibly excited for our team, organization and our fans. Im looking forward to the addition of a great player.The Stars, who have the top choice for the first time, had a 44 percent chance to secure the No. 1 selection based on having the worst combined record over the past two seasons.A lot of fans supported us knowing that it wasnt about what we were doing this season but more the direction we were going, Riley said.The Washington Mystics will pick second. They had a 10 percent chance of securing the top pick.The second pick is really exciting for us, Washington coach Mike Thibault said. Where we are with our franchise, to get another good college player will help us a lot. Its a really exciting moment for our franchise.The Dallas Wings secured the third pick and the Los Angeles Sparks received the fourth. The Sparks acquired Connecticuts lottery pick through a draft-day trade in April that sent Jonquel Jones to the Sun.Connecticut and Dallaas each had a 23 percent chance of getting the No. Nick Foles Jersey. 1 pick.You never know how the balls are going to bounce, Dallas coach Fred Williams said. Were getting a nice pick there at the three position.Unlike the previous few seasons, there is no clear-cut No. 1 pick coming out of college this year.Clearly going to do some research, Riley said. Evaluating our roster and needs. Its a normal process. Theres a lot of discussion around the top draft picks and different opinions who they should be. My job as GM is to evaluate the talent.Among senior standouts that could be selected first include South Carolina center Alaina Coates and Washington guard Kelsey Plum. Tennessee guard Diamond DeShields -- a redshirt junior -- is also considered a frontrunner should she declare early for the draft.Riley also has to find a new coach after Dan Hughes retired at the end of the season. She said that hiring one is a high priority for the franchise.The rest of the first round, in order, will be Phoenix, Seattle, Atlanta, Indiana, Dallas (from New York), Dallas (from Los Angeles) and Minnesota.There are a lot of things available for us since we have three picks in the first round, Williams said.The Associated Press contributed to this report.?' ' '