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Posted by
Oya Adisa Oshun January 29, 2015 -
Filed in
Arts & Culture
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7,164 views
THE APOLOGY
They beat me and I called you to save me ... but you couldn't.. so I secretly resented you.
They took our babies and sold them, I begged you to save us.. but you couldn't .. so I secretly blamed you..
They raped me, and I cried out for you to protect me... but you couldn't.....So I stopped trusting you...
You were supposed to be my man.. my provider.. my protector but when I needed you.. you couldn't be there... so I hated you...
How could I let you tell me what to do.
When massa could protect me more than you..
How could I submit to you when you are forced to submit to massa?
So to protect myself I submitted to the one who could protect me and our children.
I stopped trusting you..
I stopped loving you..
I stopped honoring you..
I stopped valuing you and in turn I became valueless to you.
I didn't see the frustration in your eyes when our children were sold..
I didn't hear your silent cries when I was beaten.
I didn't see your anger when I was being ravished..
I didn't understand that you held your emotions to be strong for me..
I thought you didn't care.. but you wanted to be there...you wanted to protect me.. you wanted to ....
but massa made it so you couldn't so I would trust him more than you.
I didn't see the hidden hands shaping our destiny..
all I saw was my pain.. and the feeling that you neglected me..
KhaYah
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