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Apology

  • THE APOLOGY They beat me and I called you to save me ... but you couldn't.. so I secretly resented you. They took our babies and sold them, I begged you to save us.. but you couldn't .. so I secretly blamed you.. They raped me, and I cried out for you to protect me... but you couldn't.....So I stopped trusting you... You were supposed to be my man.. my provider.. my protector but when I needed you.. you couldn't be there... so I hated you... How could I let you tell me what to do. When massa could protect me more than you.. How could I submit to you when you are forced to submit to massa? So to protect myself I submitted to the one who could protect me and our children. I stopped trusting you.. I stopped loving you.. I stopped honoring you.. I stopped valuing you and in turn I became valueless to you. I didn't see the frustration in your eyes when our children were sold.. I didn't hear your silent cries when I was beaten. I didn't see your anger when I was being ravished.. I didn't understand that you held your emotions to be strong for me.. I thought you didn't care.. but you wanted to be there...you wanted to protect me.. you wanted to .... but massa made it so you couldn't so I would trust him more than you. I didn't see the hidden hands shaping our destiny.. all I saw was my pain.. and the feeling that you neglected me.. KhaYah

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